You Can't Handle This

They don't have it in Central Pennsylvania.

Even the great Wegmens, which boasts the great and original slogan, "Consistent Low Prices," failed me.

It's sad. I don't know what I'm going to do.

I'll try to survive, but it's always a bit harder knowing that you can't get some of the things you used to get back home.

We at least have a Chick-Fil-A here on campus, which will help ease the pain. Oh, and don't let them fool you -- their new "Chick-Fil-A Sauce" is really a repackaged version of their Honey-Roasted BBQ. Seriously. Shame on you, tricky Chick-Fil-A.

Anyway, pray for me as I go through this Ironbeer drought. I think a trip down to South Florida in two months might just do the trick.

Labels: Personal complaints

Labels: Quality stuff

I said that I would write a more in-depth article about marriage thus far, so I figured it was about time to make good on it.

Our wedding was absolutely the most memorable event of our lives.

Besides minor bumps like the church secretary scheduling a funeral for the same time as the wedding and Columbia (the Cuban restaurant where the rehearsal dinner was to be held) abruptly going out of business five days beforehand, the planning went fairly smoothly.

It was April 26 and finally the day had arrived for the wedding. Neither of us had gotten much sleep the night before (as evident by many of the photographs), but we were ready to finally get things underway.

Upon my arrival at the church, I was advised that the dozen or so people drinking coffee and chain-smoking in the courtyard where our reception was to be held were awaiting the start of their Alcoholic's Anonymous meeting, which was to begin shortly. Tensions rose as one scraggly-bearded man eyed what appeared to be a bottle of champagne on a nearby table (thankfully to all, this turned out to be just sparkling pear juice).

Order was restored, and the ceremony began with only a short delay. The nuptials were beautiful and breathtaking -- so touching, in fact, that the bride's brother, Seth, fell face-first to the floor with joy. Later investigation would confirm that the sarcasm of Andrew's advice to the groomsmen on keeping their knees locked and standing "straight as a board" was not completely grasped.

The pastor eloquently prayed and spoke on what it meant to love someone for a lifetime -- often stating that cherishing someone meant loving them through the good times and the bad.

Our three musicians played wonderfully and were immaculately dressed -- especially Tony, whose shirt and tie matched perfectly with his leg cast and crutches (necessary accessories after blowing out a knee during "extreme gardening"). We were all glad Tony was able to make it to the wedding, which brings to mind an important note: always notify everyone invited to the rehearsal dinner of its new location when the previous restaurant goes out of business.

Finally, the ceremony was over, and it was time for the bride and groom to walk down the aisle and enter the world to the sound of blaring organ music and the cheers of friends and family. This triumphant exit, however, is preceded by two minutes of awkward silence as the sound tech desperately searches for the correct tape.

The courtyard reception was immaculately decorated and quite comfortable despite the blistering hot Florida sun. All of the AA attendees had been shooed away and the only uninvited guests left were the legions of fire ants that groomsmen Matt and I had accidentally introduced to the courtyard two days beforehand while putting down several bags of red mulch.

About 10 billion photos later, the festivities were over and it was time to flee. Small bottles of bubbles were handed out to attendees to wish us farewell (video of the event clearly shows groomsman Jon attempting several times to blow bubbles with everyone else, but he completely fails to do so). By this time, Seth had recovered from his ceremony mishap and came over to wish us off -- just in time for me to slam his fingers in the car door.

The honeymoon plan was to spend the week at our family's cabin in the Smoky Mountains of North Carolina. After two days of driving, we unlocked the door and stepped into about six inches of water. A bizarre accident had completely flooded the house, causing several thousand dollars worth of damage.

Much of our honeymoon was spent in the plush and lavish surroundings of the Franklin Comfort Inn.

In the end, Danielle and I were married in a beautiful ceremony in a small church in West Palm Beach, Florida, on April 26, 2008... which, oddly enough, also coincides with the 22nd anniversary of the worst nuclear power plant disaster in history.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. We are very happy together. :)

Labels: Quality stuff

I'm slowly getting used to this whole marriage thing.

There's a lot more responsibility, self-sacrifice and dish washing. It's not OK to leave dirty dishes on your desk and the floor is not a clothes hamper -- facts of life that have not been apparent to me in bachelor life.

There's a lot of good to it, too, and it's always nice to have someone cut your lunch sammich into triangles, just the way you like it.

I'll be posting more about it soon, as well as several other crazy things that have happened since the wedding. Until then, enjoy this:

Labels: In a time crunch

Sometimes, as a Christian, I feel as though I don't want to tell people what church I attend, only because I know that, as soon as I answer, I'll be judged by it.

It's not that I'm afraid of "judgment, " -- I understand that different churches follow different doctrines, but, for once, I'd like to be judged by my own actions, my own beliefs, and my own words rather than whatever the title of my church might be, or how many people attend each week, or how many former Target stores we're renovating into new campuses.

I just want to be... me.

Besides, I'm a horrible spokesman -- I don't always have minty-fresh breath and I can't play guitar for beans.

Oh, and yes, I'm the one who left toast crumbs in the butter. For shame.

There, that's it. I'm done. Carry on.

Labels: Scholars are already hard at work determining the meaning of this post

Churches all across the U.S. now run services using state-of-the-art plasma TVs, projector screens, video editing software, video cameras, Taylor guitars, sound systems and Bible-themed playgrounds.

These churches employ multiple pastors, youth pastors, secretaries, account managers, custodians, small group coordinators and people in other such positions.

We've got big churches, small churches -- churches being run out of multi-million dollar buildings -- all adding up to billions being spent each year in the U.S. alone.

Meanwhile, somewhere far away in a third-world country you've probably never heard of, the pastor of a small church is starving because his congregation can't afford to pay him anything. They don't have a guitar, they don't have a sound system and they don't even have hymnals. For some reason, however, their church is growing, and people are coming to know Christ at an astounding rate.

So why is it that we need big TV's, video projectors and fancy new buildings? Though I'm sure my seminary friends will cringe at the sound of this, I'm honestly wondering if we really need all these church employees (::cringes, awaits onslaught of perturbed clergymen::) too. Heck, I love youth pastors as much as next guy, but they way we've been doing this whole youth thing just isn't working (The Southern Baptists are figuring that one out the hard way). That's a completely generalized statement, but the numbers are quite disheartening.

So, really, I guess I'm questioning whether we should be spending all this money on better things instead of new facilities, new playgrounds, new sermon materials, etc. Perhaps we should be feeding people, comforting people and loving people instead (ready the hippie music -- let's all hold hands).

Heck, even the leaders of Willow Creek are figuring out that they've been doing it wrong all along -- and they pull a regular weekly attendance of 24,000.

In either case, I'll leave you with this:

1 Corinthians 3:10-15

But each one should be careful how he builds. 11For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. 14If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. 15If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames.

Labels: Something about throwing stones and glass houses